Writing can be lonely, and baring your soul to the world through your words can be anxiety-inducing, especially when people don’t hold back on giving their honest opinion.
Looking after your wellbeing isn’t just important for your health, it helps to keep you motivated, passionate and focused on what’s important. Here’s a few of the things we’ve found helpful so far.
It’s by no means an exhaustive or prescriptive list—and if you do find yourself struggling, make sure to reach out for professional help. Whether that’s talking to your GP, or contacting some of the amazing charities who work in this space. We’ve included a list at the bottom of this blog to help make that a bit easier.
Talk to other writers
There are so many elements to writing that can affect your wellbeing, and at times it can feel like you’re completely alone: getting rejected, struggling to write, doubting your abilities, comparing yourself to others, receiving negative feedback. But you’re not. Every writer goes through it, and talking to other writers helps to put that into perspective.
Knowing that rejection and negative feedback are completely normal doesn’t necessarily make them sting any less, but it helps you to acknowledge that there’s nothing wrong with you. You are not a bad writer. You are not destined to fail. You’re just on a journey like everyone else.
Feedback and rejections are all just part of improving, learning and practising your craft. After all, you wouldn’t expect to pick up a violin and immediately know how to whip out a perfect rendition of Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons.
Be supportive, not envious
Since we’re old enough to babble we’re taught to compare ourselves to others, from school grades and board games to sack races (yep, we were the children who always got the ‘Good Try!’ stickers on sports day). And yes, book sales are a competition like anything else—‘read my book, not his!’. But obsessing over this will only waste your energy, and ultimately sour the magic of writing.
Ehrmann’s prose poem, “Desiderata”, states, ‘if you compare yourself to others you will become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself’. Both vanity and bitterness are pretty terrible for wellbeing: the former filling life with endless expectations, and the latter devastating our relationships.
So, if you feel yourself getting stressed out about others, step away, take a moment, and when you feel able to, try to support them in their moment of success. After all, they’re probably feeling a hefty helping of anxiety and self-doubt themselves, even if they look confident.
Give yourself a break
We’ve heard lots of advice like: you must write everyday, you must write as much as you can, you must write 10,000 words in five seconds (ok, maybe that last one is an exaggeration). And yes, we get it. To make money from writing, to improve and become successful, of course you have to write. But runners don’t continuously run non-stop. They understand that rests and breaks are fuel for the moment they get back out there and run again.
It’s easy to think that sunbathing or taking a bath is lazing about. That it’s ‘doing nothing’. But it’s the opposite. Letting your brain wind-down, relax and take a break builds up energy and passion for when you return. Have you ever been on holiday, looked around museums or gone hiking, felt inspired and rushed to return to your laptop and write? That’s exactly why we need to take breaks. That, and because, (whilst some people might argue otherwise) there is more to life than writing.
To be happy, to feel fulfilled, we need to live full lives, with varied experiences. Try to get into a routine, including regular breaks in your day, and taking time away when you need it.
Practice mindfulness and be wary of the veil of writing
We all draw from our own life experiences when we write—it’s impossible not to, and it’s ultimately what makes our writing unique and evocative. Taking notes on experiences, feelings and emotions can help to inspire characters, story arcs and details. It can help us tune in mindfully to our surroundings, making us better listeners, observers, and more attentive to the world around us.
But there’s also a danger in living life too focussed on sourcing new material. Experiencing the taste of honey for enjoyment is different to experiencing it to describe on a page. It’s almost like living life in the third person, a constant detachment, seeing your own life through your reader’s eyes. It risks your enjoyment of new experiences and your appreciation of the moment.
So, if something inspires you, note it down, but be wary of training your senses to only experience life through the veil of writing.
Learn to manage your imposter syndrome
“Ah,” you say. So I got good feedback. That was just them being kind. So I won a competition, got something published, finished writing a story—that was just a fluke. They’ll find out soon, realise I’m not really a writer. Imposter syndrome is a difficult thing to shake. But it’s important not to let it get out of control. At its worst, it can cause you to overthink, over-edit, and even stop writing altogether.
For Alice, it feels like the face-hugger from Alien, suffocating her creativity and crushing her confidence. But there are things that can help. Think about what your imposter syndrome is saying to you—probably something along the lines of “you’re not good enough, they’ll find you out, you’re just pretending.” Now imagine saying those words to someone you love. A child, spouse, or friend. Pretty horrible, right? Well if you can’t imagine speaking like that to someone you care about, why are you doing it to yourself?
It can also help to focus on what you have achieved, to look at the facts. If you’ve finished a story, had good feedback, or (the holy grail) actually got something published, that’s not a fluke. It’s some combination of talent and hard work, and you can do it again. Imposter syndrome is a subject worthy of its own blog—and there are lots out there! This one has some useful tips.
Remember why you fell in love with writing
Whether you’ve loved writing since you were little, or you’ve come to love it more recently, it’s likely that writing itself has helped with your mental health—giving you a space to vent and organise your thoughts, to understand your emotions and express your frustration.
Don’t forget the power this has. Writing for yourself is just as important as writing for your readers. And not everything you write needs to be shared with others: writing simply for enjoyment with the intention of never sending it anywhere is a great way to rekindle your passion, to calm your emotions and to simply enjoy a moment of creativity. After all, there’s a reason why so many charities use art, writing and music as a form of therapy.
Who to speak to if you need further help
If you do find yourself struggling, make sure to reach out for professional help. Whether that’s talking to your GP, or contacting some of the amazing charities who work in this space: Mind; Anxiety UK; Mental Health Foundation; Samaritans.
Rosalyn Robilliard 